Critical Fail: KotOR 2: The Sith Lords Part 5

A Little More Conversation a Little Less Action
First off sorry about the delay, anyone who reads this, last week was a clusterfuck and then I decided to change my update schedule to Sunday in order to give myself more time to work.
Without further ado: a whole bunch of conversation:
Kreia shows up on the Ebon Hawk with no real explination:

Kreia: There is no time - we must leave.

As the Ebon Hawk flies away the Harbinger attacks.

Atton: If they hit us, we're dead! But if they keep missing us, we're dead! That's great odds.
T3: *a bunch of useless beeping*
Atton: Somebody shut that trash compactor up!
Exile: Can we jump to hyperspace?
Atton: Not with all of these asteroids around us. We'd enter hyperspace in pieces. We have to clear that field first. Thing is, we clear the field, and they're going to have a clear shot at us.
Exile: Isn't there anything you can do?
Atton: I'm doing all I can, and that's not enough. What did you do to make these guys so mad? Now they either hit us and destroy us, or they hit an asteroid and make this whole field go nova.

Now we get the first real moral choice. Do you shoot the asteroids, blowing up the entire system or do you run like a little bitch?

Exile: There's got to be another way. Keep evading them until we clear the field, and we'll jump to hyperspace.
Atton: Hold on this is going to get rocky.
The planet explodes regardless of what you pick and we successfully jump into hyperspace.

Atton: Because between assassin droids, a Sith lord that looks like he sleeps with vibroblades, and being target practice for a Republic warship, I was better off in my cell.
Kreia: The Republic warship was the Harbinger. It was seized on it's way to Telos by the Sith - they were looking for you, Jedi.
Exile: Why are they looking for me>
Kreia: Because you are the last of the Jedi, once you are dead they will have won.
Exile: But I was exiled from the Jedi Order.
Kreia: Exile or not - the Sith believe you to be a Jedi Knight, and that is all the matter.
Exile: But those Jedi that survived, what happened to them.
Kreia: Many Jedi blamed the teachings of the Jedi masters for Revan's fall... and for the civil war that followed. The Jedi Academy on Dantooine is nothing more than a crater that echoes with the ghosts of dead Jedi. And the Jedi temple on Coruscant lies empty. The waters in the Room of a Thousand Fountains have fallen still, in reverence to the fallen Jedi... and those now lost.
Exile: Then the Jedi are dead, gone... and good riddance.
Kreia: Perhaps, but they are Jedi no longer. If the Sith have not already slain them, them they will not help you, nor can you help them.
Exile: Before, you said that the Harbinger was on its way to Telos?
Kreia: Yes, to aid in the recovery effort there. Many roads lead to Telos - including ours.
Atton: Like we have a choice, the Peragus astrogation charts being what they are.
Kreia: It is where we must go... and where the Harbinger was bound before our unfortunate encounter on Peragus.
Exile: Care to explain how you tracked me down?
Kreia: You were difficult to find, but... coincidence was on our side. When I learned that you were on the vessel, I knew the Sith would not be far behind. When we intercepted the Harbinger, it was crippled, drifting in space. It was a simple matter to board the vessel and rescue you. Unknown to me, however, the Sith were already on board. Just as we made the jump to hyperspace, they fired upon us, nearly destroying the Ebon Hawk.
Exile: That's an unusual set of coincidences.
Kreia: True - but as one trained in the Force, you know true coincidences are rare.
Exile: How did we get to Peragus?
Kreia: I do not know how the Ebon Hawk was able to make it to Pe-
T3: *more annoying beeping*
Kreia: Be silent! We're having a conversation here!
T3: *annoying beeps that wont ever stop*
Exile: He says that he repaired the ship and got us to Peragus.
Atton: Repaired this ship, my eye. Next thing you know it's going to claim credit for saving our skins. If that little noisemaker says it repaired the ship once, it can prove it by doing it again. Go on get!
T3: *won't stop with the beeping*
Exile: So how come I don't remember you rescuing me?
Kreia: Whatever occured on board the Harbinger had rendered you unconcious. Though your thoughts were faint, I was still able to find you... sealed in one of the cargo holds.

I am putting this picture here since I want to show you that this is the only option that the player has to make. Yay railroading!

Kreia: That is not an easy question to answer. The threat is greater than you know... and I do not believe it is a battle that can be fought.
Exile: What do you think you should do?
Kreia: We cannot hope to to triumph against them alone. To stop them, you will need weapons, allies, and... a teacher. In the end, I fear it may not be enough.
Exile: What do you mean?
Atton: Look, enough with the "we" already.
Kreia: You fought in the Mandalorian Wars, and it cost you everything. Are you willing to sacrifice as much again?
Exile: Is there someplace we can hide? Or run to?
Atton: That's the first smart thing I've heard since you two started talking.
Kreia: For a time, yes. Telos may be such a place - all our paths seem to lead us there. Perhaps there, if you are willing. I can train you, help you survive a while longer.
Exile: And we let them come to us, set a trap for them.
Kreia: You are not listening to me. This is not like any field of battle you have ever fought in. Think carefully on your choice. If you choose to fight, if you choose war, it is a path few turn from once the first steps are taken. It carries with it a terrible price. And in the end, you may find you have nothing left to sacrifice.
Exile: I turned away from war once, I can do it again.
Kreia: Pah, like many Jedi, you hear, but you do not listen. You have much to learn. But we have spoken long enough - and my wound pains me. If you have other questions, find me in the crew quarters... there we will speak more.

Kreia: Also, in private, we will be mercifully free from opinions of imbeciles and fools.
Atton: Look, uh, not that I care or anything, but you might want to go check on our passenger -especially with that hand of hers.
Exile: I'm sure she can take care of herself.
Atton: I think she was barely keeping it together - I'm surprised she's able to stand with all that pain rolling off of her.
Exile: What are you talking about?
Atton: Are you blind? If I were her I would be screaming like a stuck mynock. Well, I mean a very strong, manly mynock. I think she's too proud to show weakness... especially in front of you.
Exile: That's odd.
Atton: Is it? In case you hadn't noticed, she won't say two words to me, but she'll talk your ear off any chance she gets. What you think matters to her... a lot. She wants you to respect her. Besides, we haven't got much else to do until Telos.
Exile: When did you get so sensitive?
Atton: Oh, don't give me that. All it takes is being around people enough to read them. You should try it sometime.
Exile: You're right, she maybe in pain - I'll see if can go help.

That is all for now. Next time: Moar exposition and just a hint of:

Seriously, we have an impossibly long Kreia conversation, an Atton conversation, and still get to Telos where we have about 4 plot conversations.

Critical Fail: Star Wars KotOR 2: The Sith Lords Part 4

This Part is Taking Forever, so I am Just Going to Speed Through the Level
There isn't much to talk about in terms of development for the rest of this besides one important thing. But if you are ever put into this situation I think it is a bad sign on the developer's side (maybe also a sign about how lazy I can be, but... shut up).
Anywho, this is what happens:
The Exile goes outside in an attempt to go to another section of this damn mine to get through the one door.

A Republic warship docks with Peragus.

Kreia freaks out and determines that it is time to leave.

HK-50 turns out to be a villain (le gasp).

Boss Fight
We get to the location that is done how the whole rest of the station should have:

The Harbinger, there aren't fifty eleven thousand enemies trying to kill you, and those that are around are stealthed until you hit them. Not the creepiest thing, but still more effective than the entirety of the Peragus facility.
The party decides that the best solution is to get the maps from the Harbinger then go into the fuel pipe, go back into the facility, and into a completely different ship to escape. This is taking waaaay too long.
The Exile goes back to her room on the Harbinger (which is profoundly useless), and then we finally get to witness one of the villains of the piece: Sleeps-with-Vibroblades
Kreia runs off to fight him, magically producing a sword from nowhere, and the Exile runs off with Atton.
Now the only important part of the update:

Kreia: Your senses betray you. As you betrayed me.
Sleeps-With-Vibroblades: After all that has happened, still you live. You are difficult to kill.
Kreia: For one as limited as you, perhaps. To have fallen so far and learned nothing - that is your failing.
Sleeps-With-Vibroblades: Th failure is yours. No longer do your whispers crawl within my skull. No longer do I suffer beneath your teachings that weaken us. And now you run in search of the Jedi. They are all dead, save one - and one broken Jedi cannot stop the darkness that is to come.
Kreia: Perhaps. We shall see.
Then Sleep-with-Vibroblades cuts off Kreia's hand and the Exile feels the pain.
[Elsewhere] Atton: Wh-what's wrong? Are you all right? Dammit, Hold on! It's only a little further. Don't give up on me now! What happened to you?
Exile: My hand... felt like it was being dipped in molten carbonite.
Atton: You look fine - come on, let's get moving.

Then later we get out of the ship, pick up T3, get on the Ebon Hawk, fight off a random bunch of Sith that appeared for no reason.Then once we take off, Kreia shows up. The Ebon Hawk takes off, gets chased by the Harbinger, and the Exile has to make a choice to shoot the exploding asteroids or not. Being light sided she doesn't shoot, the Harbinger does and the whole system goes kablooey.
End of Section.
Thank Odin.

I don't know what else to say about this update. There wasn't too many important bits, and the one there was won't have any relevance until later.

Mass Effect Novel Suck, Bioware to Patch it

So book tie-ins are not anything new. Neither is fan rage. What happens when you combine the two? Horrible things.

Anyone not reading that article here is the rundown: there recently came out a Mass Effect tie in novel. The novel is one of a few novels that exist in tandem with the games. What makes this one different is that it was written by some one not directly connected with the game.

And he failed at his job.

Here is a list of the number of things wrong with it.

This is the worst kind of writing. What the hell was this guy thinking? How could he get so many basic things wrong with it? Isn't one of the ways you get the job of doing the tie-in novel by showing that you know the universe? How could this guy be the one who got the job? Does he still have a job?

Well, Bioware is fixing it.

Critical Fail: SW: KotOR II: The Sith Lords Part 3

Talking With Droids Is Only So Much Fun

So after a long and rather pointless T3 section we get the door open and Atton has some concerns about going into the mines to go open a door to do something. I get lost in how exactly this all supposed to get me to a ship to get off the asteroid.

Some dumb dialogue happens that involves the Exile getting some clothes and descending into the mines and fighting eve more droids.

You know what would make this whole section even creepier? If there were half as many droids. They all die in too few hits. If the whole death of the miners plot line (which we will be exploring in this little update) would be even creepier if we faced even fewer droids. But I’ll extrapolate more later.

In the tunnels there are some clothes for the Exile (thank god). And some silly gameplay devices.

The Exile then does some more contrivances to open a single door and then she escapes into a new section of the level.

One the floor is a dead body (which I find funny since he was apparently mined into little pieces but the avatar is one piece and there is zero blood), and we hear a familiar voice (if you player KotOR 1 [have you played it yet?]).

Exile: “How do you know me? I’m not your master.”

HK: “Answer: I am a survivor of the Harbinger, just as you were, Master. With the unexpected termination of my previous Master, you are the only organic which I may now serve.”

Exile: “Who was your previous Master?”

HK: “”Answer: The captain of the Harbinger, master. I was in transit to Telos to facilitate communications and terminate hostilities… However, we did not arrive at our intended destination.”

Exile: “What happened?”

HK: “Irritated Answer: Oh, Master it is such a long, dull story. And not terribly relevant to our current situation.”

Exile: “Why don’t you tell me anyway?”

OK, I am already bored by this conversation because it is fucking long. I think this conversation alone accounts for half of the screen caps I have thus far.

Basically: HK-50 is a terrible liar, the Exile finds out that she was drugged during a medical procedure aboard the Harbinger when everything went horribly wrong, HK-50 put the Exile in the Ebon Hawk and they all wound up here.

Besides the actual “how did I get from a Republic ship to the Ebon Hawk to here” being sort of answered, this whole conversation struck me as being completely useless. We already know that the miner’s wanted the Exile for the bounty (at least some of them), we already know that most (if not all) of the miners are dead because of the droids, we know that the miners were becoming increasingly paranoid because of the malfunctions, so why do we need this super long conversation about all of this? Again?

And all of this is to open ONE door to get to ONE specific ship that is, apparently, our ONLY way out of here. Anyone remember the last time this happened?

I think this whole thing was done as a sort of fan service to the fans of the first game. It is HK-47 with a new paint scheme, the same love of killing things. But they suck oh so much more than 47 and this isn’t even the same character! Does that even count as fan service?

This conversation covers 102 individual screen caps. One Hundred and Two. Bad Developers. Bad.

Saving Throw:

This update is rather short, and late, mostly because of school related shit I have to do, but mostly because I actually got really bored with this game after this conversation as stopped playing if for about two weeks. Anyone who wrote this game, if you are reading this, FEEL ASHAMED. This is the worst thing you can have a player do. The only reason I am going back to it after this is because I feel compelled to continue to point how this game fails so badly.
Also you should really go read that link, it is helpful and Shamus Young is an amazing person who does more than I could ever hope for.